Chapter 6 - Revising Business Messages

Revising for conciseness

a.       Eliminating flabby expression

What does it mean by flabby expression?

Flabby expression is extra words that make your writing seems unclear, weak, rambling, and unstructured. It often contains overused words which seem meaningless to the reader.

It is required to eliminate the unnecessary words in order to make your writing reach a higher level. You need to make your message become concise. These examples show you how to change the flabby expressions into the concise ones.

Flabby	Concise
As a general rule	Generally
At a later date	Later
At this point in time	Now, presently
Despite the fact that	Although
Due to the fact that	Because

b.      Limiting Long Lead-Ins

This means you need to delete unnecessary introductory words.

For example:

Instead of saying “I am sending you this e-mail to announce that we have hired a new manager”, you can say “We have hired a new manager”.

I am sending you this e-mail to announce that we have hired a new manager

c.       Dropping unnecessary there is/ are and it is/ was fillers

d.      Rejecting Redundancies

Redundancies are expressions with repeating meaning or including unnecessary words (redundant. For example,  the word unexpected surprise can be changed into surprise because unexpected carries the same meaning as surprise. Here are the examples of redundant and concise words.

Redundant	Concise
Absolutely essential	Essential
Adequate enough	Adequate
Basic fundamentals	Fundamentals or basics
Big in size	Big
Combined together	Combined

e.      Purging empty words

Empty words and phrases: case, degree, the fact, factor, instance, nature and quality.

Because of the degree of active participation by our sales reps, profit soared.

It sounds better when we remove them.

Avoid saying the obvious.

If it comes, omit it.

This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line

Clauses begin with that, which and who can often be shortened without loss of clarity.

All employees who are among those completing the course will be reimbursed.

Revising for clarity

a.       KISS

KISS stands for Keep It Short and Simple. KISS formula is using active-voice sentences that avoid indirect, pompous language. Here is the example.

Wordy and unclear	Improved
Employees haven’t been made sufficiently aware of the potentially adverse consequences regarding the use of  these perilous chemicals.	Warn your employees about these dangerous chemicals.

b.      Cliches and Slang

Cliches are expressions, words, and phrases which are overused. For example, you say “below the belt” instead of “last but least”.

Slang is informal words with changeable meanings. For example, you write “gr8” instead of “great”.

c.       Unburying Verbs

Buried Verb	Unburied Verb
Conduct a discussion of	Discuss
Create a reduction of	reduce
Give consideration to	consider
Make an assumption of	Assume

d.      Controlling Exuberance

Exuberance is commonly shown by using  very, definitely, quite, extremely, really, totally,etc. These may strengthen your meaning, but using them too much may seem unprofessional.

Excessive Exuberance	Businesslike
We totally agree that we actually did not really give his proposal a very fair trial.	We agree that we did not give his proposal a fair trial.

1. Designing Documents for Readability

a.       Employing white space

Use headings, bulleted numbers, effective margins, and Improve readibility and comprehension (shortening sentences & paragraphs) to increase the white space

b.      Understanding Margins and Text Alignment

Business letters or memos usually have side margins of 1 to 1 ½ inches.

c.       Choosing Appropriate Typefaces

Two most categories in business message are Serif typefaces whichh have small features at the end of strokes (e.g. Times New Roman, Century, Georgia and Palatino), and Sans serif typefaces which are clean and widely used for headings, signs and material that doesnt require continuous reading (e.g Arial, Calibri, Helvetica, Tahoma, Univers and Verdana)

For less formal message or decorative effects :

Happy, Creative script/ funny (Comic Sans, Brush script, Gigi, Jokerman, Kristen)

Assertive, Bold, Modern Display (Britannic Bold, Broadway, Elephant, Impact, showcard)

Plain Monospaced (Courier, Letter Gothic, Prestige Elite)

d.      Capitalizing on Type Fonts and Sizes

During revision process, you need to think about font style and size appropriately. Make it looks comfortable according to the necessity.

e.      Adding Headings for Visual Impact

By adding headings, you can improve readability, encourage the writer to group similar material together, and help busy readers to skim.

Chapter 5 - Organizing and Writing Business Messages

Guffey’s 3-x-3 Writing Process

Prewriting: analyze, anticipate, adapt

Writing: Research, organize, compose

Revising: revise, proofread, evaluate

Formal and Informal Research Methods

In formal research methods, you can access electronically, search manually, go to the source, investigate primary sources, and conduct scientific experiments. Meanwhile, in informal research methods, you look in the files, talk with your boss, interview the target audience, conduct an informal survey, brainstorming for ideas, and creating cluster diagrams.

Organizing Ideas Using Lists and Outlines

Lists and outlines are used to organize ideas. There are two outlining formats: format for alphanumeric outline, and format for decimal outline as you can see below.

Organizing Ideas into Patterns

You need to organize ideas into pattern in order to attract the attention of audience. When should one use direct pattern or indirect pattern? Direct pattern is used when the audience seem to be pleased, mildly interested, and neutral. In this case, you can directly go to the point.  How about the indirect pattern? You can use it when your audience look uninterested, displeased or hostile.

Direct Pattern for Receptive Audiences

Indirect Opening	Direct Opening
Our company has been concerned with attracting better –qualified prospective job candidates. For this reason, the Management Council has been gathering information about an internship program for college students. After considerable investigation, we have voted to begin a pilot program starting next fall.	The management Council has voted to begin a college internship pilot program next fall.

Do you see the difference? In indirect opening, explanation will be given to get the audience’s interest. However, in direct opening, a clear statement is straightly given.

There are some advantages of applying direct pattern and indirect pattern.

When you use direct pattern, you will:

    1.Save the reader’s time;

2. Set a proper frame of mind;
3. Reduce frustation.

When you use indirect pattern, you will:

    1.  Respect the feelings of the audience

2. Facilitate a fair hearing
3. Minimize a negative reaction

Coherence

In order to create coherence paragraphs, you need to sustain the key idea, dovetail sentence, use pronouns, and include transitional expression. 

Chapter 4 - Planning Business Messages

            Planning business messages enables you to have a systematic writing process. This topic will discuss four basic principles of writing, the 3-x-3 writing process, the phase of the writing process, the “you” view, conversational but professional language, bias-free language, simple expression, and vigorous words, how teams approach collaborative writing projects and what collaboration tools support team writing, and the legal and ethical responsibilities of business communications.

Four Basic Principles of Business Writing

Business writing differs from other writing. Business writers have different goals for business management and oral presentation. Therefore, business writing should be purposeful, persuasive, economical, and audience oriented.

a.       Purposeful means that your writing must have a specific purpose

b.      Persuasive means that you need to ensure your audience to believe and accept what you convey

c.       Economical means that you clearly and briefly present your ideas.

d.      Audience oriented means that you need to focus on looking at a problem based on the audience’s point of view.

The 3-x-3 Writing Process

The writing process will be easier if you follow the 3-x-3 writing process: prewriting – 25% (thinking and planning), writing – 25% (organizing and composing), and revising – 50% (45% revising and 5% proofreading ). This writing process allows you to have a systematic plan, as it is described below.

Adapting to the Task and Audience

a.       Developing audience benefits

b.      “You” view is necessary used to give emphasize on the audience. The sender focus must be changed to audience focus to show the “you” view as it is shown in this example.

As the sender gives “you” view, the audience will think “I need to do what the sender has said because it will give an effect for me.”

c.       Being conversational but professional

You are insisted on being professional, but do not drop the conversational style. Using active voice may seem professional and conversational.

d.      Expressing yourself  positively

Expressing your thought positively makes your surrounding reacts positively as well. The way to express your positive thought is by using positive words or avoiding negative words. For example, you should say, “you will be happy to” instead of  “you won’t be sorry that” .

e.       Being courteous

Being courteous is an exact way to get good response to a letter, report, or memo. It is not only about saying “please” and “thank you”, but it is also about the tone of your writing. What things should be done in order to get a good response? Here are the answers.

§  Thank people for their contribution or work.

§  Acknowledge emails and letters.

§  Sound neutral rather than confrontational.

§  Focus on the positive words.

§  Show your concern.

§  Soften bad news by leading up to it.

§  Don’t demand, rather start sentences with “I want” or “I would like”.

f.       Choosing bias-free Language

You must avoid language which tends to discriminate others – language which is sensitive to people’s sex, race, age, and other differences. Below is the example of bias language.

Biased: Give your report to the committee chairman.

The word “chairman” refers to one’s sex. Therefore, to make it better, you can say, “Give your report to the committee chair.”

g.      Employing Precise, Vigorous Words

To avoid ambiguity which can lead to misunderstanding, you need to use precise and vigorous words. For example, use word “fax me” instead of “contact me”. What will happen when you use the word “contact me”? The interlocutor may contact you via text messages, phone, chat, or e-mail, whereas you expect him or her to contact you via fax.

How Teams Approach Collaborative Writing Projects  

Collaboration is done to make a better result. Working together may help members to get along well each other. Both formal and informal chains of communication will be improved as the time goes by. What are the tools which help collaboration? E-mail, mailing lists, discussion boards, and instant messaging absolutely can support teams.

The Legal Ethical and Responsibilities of Business Communications

You need to fulfill ethical obligation in :Investment Information, Safety Information, Marketing Information,  Human Resources Information, and Copyright Information

Source

http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/style-and-usage/negative-words-to-avoid-in-writing.html

Chapter 3 - Intercultural Communication

Intercultural communication is the information sharing across different cultures and social groups, with different religious, social, ethnic, and educational backgrounds. This is required to understand the differences in how people with a variety of cultures act, and communicate. In this topic, I will discuss the three significant trends that have increased the importance of intercultural communications, cultural characteristics, the ways in achieving intercultural proficiency, techniques for improving nonverbal and oral communication in intercultural settings, for improving written messages to intercultural audiences.

1. Three significant trends that have increased the importance of intercultural communication:

a.   The globalization of markets

People need to do adapt to other culture in order to be successful because intercultural communication absolutely happens in work environment. Therefore, it is necessary to have intercultural communication skill.

b.   Technological advancements

In this globalization era, the internet and the Web play a great role in changing the way people live, the way people do business, and the way people communicate. These advancements have made markets and jobs more accessible since the internet permits instantaneous oral and written communication across time zone and continents. For example, managers in Miami can use high-speed data systems to swap marketing plans instantly with their counterparts in Milan.

c.    Intercultural workforce

Because of the prospects of prosperity and education, people are moving to countries that can change their life or fulfill their dream. The research showed that companies need to work together to strengthen the development of intercultural skills in the workplace to meet the growing globalization. Intercultural skills are important to companies for several reasons. They not only give employees a better understanding of their workplace and co-workers, but they also help them adapt to new work environments and prevent culture shock, while enhancing their cultural awareness, knowledge, and practical skills.

2.      Five noteworthy cultural characteristics :

a.  Culture is learned, which means culture is passed down from generation to generation. For example, in many middle Eastern and some Asian cultures, same sex-people may walk in hand-in-hand in the street, but opposite-sex may not do so.

b. Cultures are inherently logical since the rules in any culture originated to strengthen the culture’s value and beliefs. For example, women in Japanese cover their mouth when they laugh because exposing teeth gives an aggressive impression.

c.   Culture is the basis of self-identity and community, which means the basis for how people tell the world who they are and what they believe. For example, as people decide their education, career, and life partner, they consider the rules, manners, beliefs, and values.

d.  Culture combines the Visible and Invisible, which means that culture is the combination of what we see and what we do not see. Although there are some invisible values of a culture, it still covers everything we think and do. For example, people in India avoid stepping on ants or insects because of their belief in reincarnation.

e. Culture is dynamic, which means culture is changed by advancements in technology and communication, and the progress of people’s thought.

3.      Achieving intercultural proficiency

a.       Avoiding ethnocentrism

Ethnocentrism is the belief in the superiority of one’s own race. For example, if you were raised in North America, many of the dimensions of culture probably seem right to you.

b.      Showing tolerance, and keeping patience

Accepting cultural differences and adapting to them with tolerance results in a harmonious compromise

4.  Apply techniques for improving nonverbal and oral communication in intercultural settings

a.       Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication includes eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture. Nonverbal skills are more difficult to learn because every culture of a country differs. For example, in Western cultures, silence gives negative impressions, specifically shows rejection, unhappiness, and depression. In contrast, for Japanese, silence means respect and wisdom. Therefore, as we want to to achieve nonverbal competence, we can become more aware of our nonverbal behaviors and their meaning.

b.      Oral communication

English is the language used to run business when we are in intercultural environment. However, the level of proficiency may be limited among non native speakers of English. There is an assumption that people who speak English always understand what is being said. This assumption is crucial because what we think can be actually the opposite; their comprehension is superficial. Therefore, there are some suggestions in using English as a second language. I will only discuss 4 out of 10 suggestions:

1.      Learn foreign phrases

If we learn greetings and a few phrases, foreign nationals will appreciate it.

2.      Use simple English

Speak in short sentences with familiar words.

For example, use “old” instead of “obsolete”

And use “rich” instead of “luxurious”

3.      Encourage accurate feedback

We need to encourage the listener to paraphrase what we say. Do not assume a yes, a nod, a smile shows comprehension.

4.      Smile when appropriate

According to Roger Axtell, smile is the most useful form of communication. However, in some cultures, excessive may seem insincere.

5.   Techniques for improving written messages to intercultural audiences

It is necessary to pay attention in sending letters, e-mails, and other document. There are some suggestions that help us prepare successful written messages to intercultural audiences. Here I choose three out of eight important points.

1.      Avoid ambiguous expression

We must avoid idioms, slang (for example, my presentation really bombed). Then, avoid acronyms (for example, ASAP for as soon as possible). Use specific action verbs (for example “purchase a printer” instead of “get a printer”.

2.      Strive for clarity

We must avoid words that have many meanings. We can replace two-word verbs with a clear single word. For example (“return” instead of “bring back”, “delay” instead of “put off”

3.      Cite numbers carefully

For international trade, it is a good idea to learn and use metric system. In citing numbers, we use (12) instead of spelling twelve. For example in North America, June 12, 2011, is written as 6/12/11. However, the same date in Europe is written as 12.6.11.

6. Workforce diversity can provides both benefits and challenges in the aspect of consumers, work teams, and business organizations.

1.    Consumers

The challenge found in consumers is an ability to read trends and respond to the increasingly diverse customer in local and world markets.

The benefit of knowing the trend is the consumers will be satisfied because

2.    Work teams

Team members with different backgrounds may come up with more creative and effective problem-solving techniques than homogeneous team.

3.   Business organizations

Having diversity in business organizations may improve employee relationships and increase productivity.

But, developing a diverse staff that can work together cooperatively is one of the biggest challenges in facing business organizations.

We can learn to be sensitive to racial and gender issues by improving communication among diverse workplace audiences, such as looking for training. We can spend time reading and learning about workforce diversity and how it can benefit organizations. It can be learned in diversity training programs. The second is understanding the value of differences, which is similar to showing tolerance.

What will happen when we do not know the culture of our peers?
let's check it out!